Okay, so here is a list of 19 principles that I have accumulated over the years. These are things that I wish someone would have shared with me when I was ready to graduate high school and enter the “real world.”

My hope is that you will skim through this list and find a few things that are useful or inspiring! I can’t say that I was ready to accept some of this “guidance” when I was 18 years old and that’s totally okay. In fact, as I read back over this post I can’t believe that I wrote it. It has a self help, motivational vibe that I was definitely not giving off in high school. But, a little over 10 years later (well closer to 15…) and I’m starting to buy into it.

So, if you find some of these points kind of hokey…just give it a few years 😉

19 Principles That Will Help You Succeed in the “Real World”

1. Does it add value?

I think this is the single most important question you can ask yourself when you’re about to make a purchase, start a business or struggling to make any kind of decision.

The way each of us defines value is different. A university education might be valued by some and not by others. Saving up to travel might be more important to you than having a new car or the nicest clothes. When it comes to business, if your idea, content or product does not add value to other peoples lives then it is doomed to fail.

2. Practice, persistence and patience.

Good things come to those who wait….right?  Kind of. Success doesn’t happen over night. Instead it comes to those who practice their craft, those who stick to their goals and those who are in it for the long haul.

Researchers have studied the differences between those who are able, and those who are not able, to delay gratification early on in life (preschool age). Delayed gratification meaning you forgo a prize now so you can receive a bigger one later on.

The best example of this is the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment. In the 1960’s a couple of psychologists had young children participate in a study where they were brought into a room and sat directly in front of a treat (a marshmallow).

They were then told that they could eat the marshmallow OR they could wait 15 minutes (literally an eternity for a child) and they would receive TWO marshmallows.

Multiple follow up studies were done over a forty year time period. Results demonstrated that the preschool children who were able to wait for the bigger prize were more competent academically and better equipped to deal with things like frustration and stress at all stages in life (1) (2).

3. Reframe your problems.

Rather than looking at a problem as something negative look at it as an opportunity. If you have a problem and you can’t find a solution then congratulations, you may have found yourself an idea for a new product or business.

Case in point, Sara Blakely. Sara is the founder of a little billion dollar company called Spanx. She came up with the idea for Spanx when she wanted to wear a nice pair of form fitting white pants but didn’t want to have a nasty ol’ panty line. To overcome this problem she cut the feet off a pair of pantyhose and, hallelujah, Spanx was born.

Now, I can promise that Sara was not the first woman to cut the feet off a pair of pantyhose. But, she was the woman who was smart enough to realize that she could turn this into a legitimate business. 

4. Don’t follow the crowd.

It’s funny because I feel like in high school all you want to do is fit in. Everyone kind of dresses the same, talks the same and likes the same things. This all changes in your mid twenties.

Now it’s all about standing out, finding your niche and capitalizing on what makes you different. If you are brave enough to start standing out in high school then you will have a leg up on your peers when you enter the ‘real world.’

5. Everyone has a unique gift.

This sounds corny but it’s true. It might take years to find and you will need to engage in some deep introspection but, you have a special talent.

My advice to you, get out and experience as much as you can. Travel, join a drum circle, take a massage course, climb a mountain, cook a new meal, learn a language, paint a picture, meet new people. You never know where you will find your hidden talent or passion.

6. Perfectionism leads to procrastination which leads to paralysis.

Oh man, have I struggled with this one. I am indecisive. I have experienced paralysis due to perfectionism.

I am so worried about making the ‘wrong’ choice that I will spend hours researching every single decision — I mean everything from what restaurant we should eat at, what utility company we should use, what boots I should buy. Granted, some decisions warrant a great amount of research but you shouldn’t spend 4 hours deciding which electric toothbrush to ‘invest in.’ They’re not that different, just pick one.

Sometimes the best advice is JUST DO IT.

Just start somewhere.

7. Learn to ask good questions.

This is an incredibly valuable skill and one you should start practicing today. The best way to learn and gain valuable insights is by asking questions. Question everything.

8. It’s okay to fail.

In fact, failure is a necessary precursor for success. Read this article to find out why failure is so important and how you can squash your fear of failure. 

9. Stop comparing yourself to others.

 In an age of social media where our self worth is tied to how many “likes” or “follows” we can amass try to focus on yourself. Easier said then done. I get it. For some tips on how to stop making comparisons and focus on living your best life read this article. 

10. Touch the small stuff once.

What do I mean by this? Stop wasting your time coming back to things. If there is a small task (responding to an email, washing a dish, taking out the trash…) that will take you less than 2 minutes to accomplish, just do it.

This will lead to getting more done and you won’t have to try and remember all of the things you need to come back to.

11. You don’t find time, you make time.

Everyone is always sooooo busy. I get it, my life feels super busy, especially now that I have a little one. However, if you can find time to binge watch hours of Netflix then you can make time to exercise, study, start a blog…..or whatever else you have been putting off because you are just soooo busy.

If you value something enough you will make time for it. Determine your priorities and get rid of the time wasters.

12. Invest in yourself.

Give yourself time to be creative. Read every day. Spend the money to educate yourself. Exercise, health is wealth my friend — without it you have nothing. Travel, it’s good for your soul. An investment in YOU is the greatest return on investment you will ever get.

13. Stop taking life so seriously.

This is a tough one for me. I am a worrier and a control freak…don’t I sound fun?! But, this is something I’m working on. Don’t be afraid to make a mistake, don’t be afraid to ask a question or look stupid. When you’re old and looking back your life none of the little things will matter.

Look at life like an awesome adventure and feel lucky each day you wake up and get to live it.

14. Breath.

No, really breath. Like take some super deep breaths in and out. Yoga style. No, better yet….birthing style.

I never really understood the value of breathing until I went into labour. You don’t have to push out a baby in order to appreciate the value of a deep inhale and exhale. If you are an athlete, a singer, suffer from panic attacks or you just need to take a minute to clear your mind don’t under estimate the power of a deep breath.

15. Everything in moderation.

This one’s from my mom. Don’t eat to much, drink too much, work too much, worry to much, party too much…you get the idea. It’s when you overindulge or overdo things that they tend to become problems.

16. You are in control of your life.

Don’t be a passive bystander. If you want something, go get it. If you don’t like something, change it. Opportunity and success are not going to come and find you while your sitting at home in front of the T.V., so get out and participate in life.

17. Be kind to everyone.

You just don’t know what people are going through. If you encounter someone being a giant dink it’s usually because they’re going through something shitty, it’s not you, it’s them. Don’t take it personally and practice empathy. In the words of the late Robin Williams (a personal fav) “Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know noting about. Be Kind. Always.”

18. Be honest.

If you never lie, you never have to remember. If you want to have a successful relationship, be it romantic or business, honesty is key.

19. Surround yourself with good people.

There is a quote by motivational speaker and entrepreneur Jim Rohn,“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” If you want to lead a successful and happy life then surround yourself with successful and happy people.

The End!

This is all just some food for thought. Take it or leave it. Even better, let’s add to the list. What words of wisdom do you live by? I would love to hear them!!

Some related posts that you should check out: 

• Do You Have a Fear of Failure? How to Overcome Fear and Turn Failure into Success
• Stop Trying to Keep up With the Joneses

References

(1) ReferencesCasey, B. J., et al. (2011). Behavioural and neural correlates of delay of gratification 40 years later. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 108(36), 14998–15003.

(2) Shoda, Y., Mischel, W., & Peake, P. (1990). Predicting adolescent cognitive and self-regulatory competencies from preschool delay of gratification:Identifying diagnostic conditions. Developmental Psychology, 26(6), 978-986.

Photo by Rodion Kutsaev on Unsplash